A Year Older But Not A Bit Wiser

From what I read, the passing of years seems to accelerate as one ages. Nobody seems to have a reason for this false sensation, as they do not for so many others. What it is has to do with the frame of reference the mind gives to the passage of time. When fresh and unknowing, of few years, the mind has little reference to divert attention from the immediate. The moment seems more dynamic, as, indeed, it is. For without the wisdom of experience to caution and advise, the immature conscious is prone to attempts at foolish and fatalistic (but often idealistic and righteous) activities. It takes reason and repetition, hand in hand, to know that certain things may be attempted and done, certain things are precursors of things about to happen, and certain things cannot under any circumstance be attempted without a result of all effort failing.

Supposedly, the older you get the wiser you are. Robert Ludlum has made a fortune telling The World that they learned everything they needed to know about dealing with other human beings by the time they left the third elementary school grade. Probably true in an overview (-ish) perspective, but we learn every day of the nuiances and moods of family, friends, lovers and enemies. Although we have ingrained the meaning and actions required of most conduct we experience, we nonetheless are often suprised, both delightfully and tragically, by the events that occure within our daily experience. This is what being alive is all about.

Yesterday, I celebrated another completed revolution on the Cosmic Rotisserie; a birthday. Counting my original birth day, it was the 59th birthday of my personal journey. Meaning, "I am" 58...those who understand the reason why this year is the first year of the Twenty-first Century will understand the logic involved. I spent my day sleeping in, doing some chores around the house, then I went downtown to dinner and did some unsuccessful gambling.

It was not an eventfull celebration, but it was enjoyable. I met some people I probably will never have contact with again. I enjoyed myself. I spent too much money and gained exactly nothing material from the experience. In sum, a waste of time.

I could reflect on that but I don't think it particularly fruitfull. My time is my own but for those hours I must sell my services to gain the necessities required of this "evermore" expensive living experience. It is not enough to see and realize this, for so many do and hatefully react to the structural reality of our time; one must fit into a scheme that itself interfaces with a socially acceptable rancour. Being a rebel is about as possible now as a Republican finding true compassion for other human beings. It just cannot be done, like the camel passing through the eye of a needle.

I have decided that I am not so smart. Not nearly as smart as I once thought I was. The old saw about the relationship of intelligence to wealth holds some truth, but I can understand the words that Suzanne sent me for my birthday:

"But to wear out your brain trying to make things into one without realizing that they are all the same-this is called 'three in the morning.'
What do I mean by 'three in the morning?'
When the monkey trainer was handing out acorns, he said, 'You get three in the morning and four at night,'
This made all the monkeys furious.
'Well, then,' he said, 'you get four in the morning and three at night.'
The monkeys were all delighted.
There was no change in the reality behind the words, and yet the monkeys responded with joy and anger. Let them, if they want to. So the sage harmonizes with both right and wrong and rests in Heaven the Equalizer. This is called walking two roads. "-From The Chuang Tzu

And I thought "three in the morning" was just that dead-of-night hour when stillness gives the mind a chance to dream. You see, things do have many meanings.

A Year Older But Not A Bit Wiser

From what I read, the passing of years seems to accelerate as one ages. Nobody seems to have a reason for this false sensation, as they do not for so many others. What it is has to do with the frame of reference the mind gives to the passage of time. When fresh and unknowing, of few years, the mind has little reference to divert attention from the immediate. The moment seems more dynamic, as, indeed, it is. For without the wisdom of experience to caution and advise, the immature conscious is prone to attempts at foolish and fatalistic (but often idealistic and righteous) activities. It takes reason and repetition, hand in hand, to know that certain things may be attempted and done, certain things are precursors of things about to happen, and certain things cannot under any circumstance be attempted without a result of all effort failing.

Supposedly, the older you get the wiser you are. Robert Ludlum has made a fortune telling The World that they learned everything they needed to know about dealing with other human beings by the time they left the third elementary school grade. Probably true in an overview (-ish) perspective, but we learn every day of the nuiances and moods of family, friends, lovers and enemies. Although we have ingrained the meaning and actions required of most conduct we experience, we nonetheless are often suprised, both delightfully and tragically, by the events that occure within our daily experience. This is what being alive is all about.

Yesterday, I celebrated another completed revolution on the Cosmic Rotisserie; a birthday. Counting my original birth day, it was the 59th birthday of my personal journey. Meaning, "I am" 58...those who understand the reason why this year is the first year of the Twenty-first Century will understand the logic involved. I spent my day sleeping in, doing some chores around the house, then I went downtown to dinner and did some unsuccessful gambling.

It was not an eventfull celebration, but it was enjoyable. I met some people I probably will never have contact with again. I enjoyed myself. I spent too much money and gained exactly nothing material from the experience. In sum, a waste of time.

I could reflect on that but I don't think it particularly fruitfull. My time is my own but for those hours I must sell my services to gain the necessities required of this "evermore" expensive living experience. It is not enough to see and realize this, for so many do and hatefully react to the structural reality of our time; one must fit into a scheme that itself interfaces with a socially acceptable rancour. Being a rebel is about as possible now as a Republican finding true compassion for other human beings. It just cannot be done, like the camel passing through the eye of a needle.

I have decided that I am not so smart. Not nearly as smart as I once thought I was. The old saw about the relationship of intelligence to wealth holds some truth, but I can understand the words that Suzanne sent me for my birthday:

"But to wear out your brain trying to make things into one without realizing that they are all the same-this is called 'three in the morning.'
What do I mean by 'three in the morning?'
When the monkey trainer was handing out acorns, he said, 'You get three in the morning and four at night,'
This made all the monkeys furious.
'Well, then,' he said, 'you get four in the morning and three at night.'
The monkeys were all delighted.
There was no change in the reality behind the words, and yet the monkeys responded with joy and anger. Let them, if they want to. So the sage harmonizes with both right and wrong and rests in Heaven the Equalizer. This is called walking two roads. "-From The Chuang Tzu

And I thought "three in the morning" was just that dead-of-night hour when stillness gives the mind a chance to dream. You see, things do have many meanings.